The
Parental
Tool Box
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What is it?
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The Parental Tool Box
What it is:
The Parental Tool Box is the most comprehensive and user-friendly collection of parenting and relationship techniques available. This single book covers all the skills you'll want to be a great parent of any child who is verbal. Sound too good to be true? Find out why we're so confident.
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What it is:
All The Tools
As any parent knows, children are full of surprises. Children will respond to each stimulus in wildly different ways. Even the same child will behave in bewilderingly new ways as they mature. Which is why the thought of any single book properly covering how to reach all of them seems so improbable.
The Parental Tool Box distills decades of experience of working with families into a concise, easy-to-read format which gives you an opportunity to find the tool that relates to your current situation and be equally prepared to find an alternate solution when it becomes necessary.
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What it is:
For Parent's To Choose
Just as all children respond uniquely, each parent and family system have their own distinct family values. Written in a strength-based, value-neutral format, The Parental Tool Box supports parents to create the family system they desire in harmony with their own beliefs and cultural indentity.
Strength Based?
Strength-Based?
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Why use it?
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Why use it:
Clinically Proven
Based on the author's combined 80 years of experience working with families of incredibly diverse backgrounds, The Parental Tool Box walks you through each step in the process of building the relationship you want with your child, whether they just started talking, or have been causing mischief for decades.
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Why use it:
Grow Your Relationship
We all have dreams of what we hope our relationship with our children will be like. Yet the reality of achieving the relationship we'd like often seems like an unachievable fantasy on our most optimistic of days.
The authors designed The Parental Tool Box to help the most fractured homes get back in sync. Grounded in success helping children in out-of-home placement find their way back home, the tools and strategies discussed can provide options and positive momentum even to the most distressed relationships.
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Better Together
Why use it:
It can often feel impossible to get your child to talk, let alone improve their behavior in even minor ways. This can be compounded by past experiences of mistrust or even aggression. Soon even simply requests result in battle lines being drawn.
One of the core components of The Parental Tool Box is giving you the tools to open up dialogues with your child. Through these conversations, you will create a framework where your child is an integral player in strategizing their own developmental plans. As a team, you will begin to find ways to turn those previous battles into the foundation of a rich and fulfilling relationship.
How Do We Learn All Of This?
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How We Learn:
Making New Habits
Parenting is a job with no off hours. This means that we generally fall back on our most natural habits when parenting, we just don't have the energy or focus to do much else.
So if this is the largest array of parenting techniques and strategies, what use are they if you don't actually find yourself using the skills?
The answer, quite simply, is none. Which is why The Parental Toolbox has built the framework of the latest research for how adults learn and remember new information into the core foundation of the book. Learn how we did it.
Learn How
Learn How
Reframe
The 3Rs :
How often have you found yourself in a rut and one small comment from a peer opens up a whole new approach? On the other hand, how often have you been having a great day and a side remark from a stranger or friend completely derails your good mood?
The way we live our lives, from how we feel to what we do, is impacted so strongly in how we frame our surroundings. The Parental Tool Box uses the concept of framing as its first core foundation. Each skill and technique is discussed from a variety of frames, showing how even our most undesirable habits have their benefits, and using that as a starting point for growing our new ones.
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The 3Rs:
Replace
Whatever you do, don't think about elephants!
The chances are much higher now that you are thinking about elephants.
Generally, when we want to improve our behavior we start by identifying what we don't want to do, and make a conscious effort to not do that behavior again. Only, as we saw, this is nearly the opposite of how the mind works.
The Parental Tool Box approaches this problem from a different light, which we call Replacing over Extinguishing. As we discuss each skill, we discuss how you can replace an existing habit with a new one, rather than simply trying to force yourself to stop.
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The 3Rs:
Rewire
Our strongest memories and deepest habits have the most connections in our brain. If we want to make new habits we need to start rewiring the brain, impacting our entire biochemistry to see the changes we want become a part of us.
While we now think of turning to prescriptions to alter our brain chemistry, more and more research is showing this is just one avenue, and that we can fundamentally change our biochemistry in far more effective ways through our daily thoughts and activities.
The Parental Tool Box recognizes the final and most important step to making any desired behavior our default requires us to address this physiological component. Throughout the entire book, each strategy is related back to this core tenant and how you can start taking control and making changes to your biochemistry today.
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What do we learn?
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What We Learn:
The Parental Tool Box
So what are some of these skills that you'll be learning in this book? The Parental Tool Box is intended to be read cover to cover, but it is designed to make it easy for you to quickly jump to the content you want when you need it. It is our intention that you will read and re-read much of this content through time.
We break down the book into three easy sections with specific skills for both the parents and children to learn.
What Are They?
What Are They?
Section One:
The Power of Words
The section The Power of Words focuses on not only the power words have in what we think and say, but also in the power our words have to shape and impact our relationship with our children. Through each of the nine chapters we speak words to parents which encourage, problem solve, prepare, anticipate, and create parenting successes and positive experiences in both you and your child.
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Section Two:
Relationships
Due to the dominant role that talk therapy has played in psychology and therapeutic services we have a tendency to equate communication skills with Relationships. Yet, successful and intimate Relationships involve much more than just words. In this section we explore the potentially beneficial roles that activities, shared values, parental team work, social integration, autonomy, and self-care play in the Relationship we build with our child. This section is relevant to the Relationships you build and maintain with not only your child, but yourself, friends, co-parents, teachers, co-workers, and family.
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Section Three:
Change and Personal Development
Many parents reading this book will be coming from a world of perpetual conflict with their child, or an imminent sense of crisis. The sense of relief parents experience when they establish a mutually respectful and relatively conflict free Relationship with their child produces both satisfaction and a sense of completion. Yet, in this section we treat the newfound pleasure in learning, sharing, and cooperating as a starting point rather than an ending.
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How Do We Practice?
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How We Practice:
Home Improvement Projects
The only way to master a skill is to practice it, repeatedly. When we learn something new, we often find it very difficult to actually apply what we've learned in our daily lives.
This can be more challenging for us with Relationship skills since we don't want to be stiff and robotic in our conversations. The Parental Tool Box ends each chapter with Home Improvement Projects which give you specific instructions and scenarios for how to practice these skills with your family.
Who are the authors?
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Who They Are:
The Guidos
Dayna and Jim Guido met working as team members in the 70’s in residential treatment for adolescents. Since then they have been an active team, collaborating with individuals and families, organizations, and schools.
Meet Them
Meet Them
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